Depression…it’s the worst feeling in the world. You don’t want to do anything; all you want to do is be alone. You don’t want to talk. You never want to see anyone. You never want to go to school. All you want to do is run away.
You can’t handle anything. You want to cry and run off a cliff. You have to force yourself to eat, and most of the time you’re running on empty.
Sometimes it’s noticeable, but sometimes it’s not. You get asked all the time, “What’s the matter?”
You always say, “Nothing. I’m fine.”
You can never really let yourself let out all the things that are bothering you. You don’t even want to tell your closest friend. You keep it all bunched up inside yourself.
Then you find that one person who makes you give up and let it all out. But then, you never really know if they will stay and help you. You can never tell the person you want to tell the real things you want to say. You always worry: Will they hate me?
At night, you stare at walls in the dark. And sit there for hours on end. Everything you’ve done and regretted comes back to you. You never sleep.
You never really know what you are going to do to yourself. The hardest thing in life is to force yourself to not do bad things. You can never really stop yourself; you’re in the mood to do the worst things you can.
All you want to do is leave.